relationships

why do people become exclusive ? why do people get into relationships?

im probably only asking this out of frustration and confusion
but whatever...these are my thoughts

i think that ppl should only get into relationships if they are thinking about marriage. if not, they should just date and by date i dont mean become a male/female hoe, just see other people, go on dates with john and the next day do dinner with sam...its rather simple, and its a life i used to lead. but at the same time, i realize why i am in a relationship.

i realized that after movie and dinner dates with all these different guys, each of them found ways to show that either they really weren't the ones for me, our personalities didnt mesh, they were THE definition of a male hoe (and im not just talking about taking girls out to eat, if you get my drift), or they had other motives. all the sams and johns that i have allowed to come into my life, made it clear why we could never be. they found ways to hurt me and disappoint me, and because i am not one to stand for bullshit for very long, i let it and them go.

now this relationship im in, i must say is something special.
being in it, being a part of this "us" and "we" has brought more smiles to my face than a young girl could only think to imagine, hope for, or dream about when reading stories about young prince charmings. parts of it have been a fairytale come true, moments that i thought would forever remain a mere idea have translated themselves into the real deal. but there are parts, and days like these where i wake up...and i just dont understand.

i thought i let go of the sams and johns to never have to feel the pain or neglect in such a fashion ever again; to not endure the lies or uneasiness or the doubts. maybe i figured that one day this prince charming would sweep me off my feet, and id never have to look back or second guess myself or him and his intentions. i thought that this prince charming would make sure that a tear never fell from these almond eyes, or this head of mine never hurt as much as it does sometimes... maybe i live in a daydream world and not reality. idk...what hurts most is knowing that things may never be the same, and ill be forever yearning for that old feeling.