how i warm up mini croissants in the microwave and then
proceed to put a light coating of NUTELLA on them, all
in attempts to relive my french mornings. = im talking
freshly baked pain au chocolat from Rouge.
ahh... France me manque !
xx
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
i am back with inspiration
a lot has transpired since my last post, and i am sorry about how long it has been. i keep saying i'll blog or i'll upload pictures, but i have not. since my last post, i have returned from France, left my host family in Annecy, France, shed a million tears, returned to Los Angeles, seeing some of my best friends, relaxed at home, made amends with B, traveled to NYC to stay and be with him, realized he is the love of my life thru thick and thin, saw some good girlfriends, met some of B's friends, returned to Los Angeles, "bumming it" all day everyday til work starts...ive argued, ive cried, ive felt sick, ive craved sweets, ive laughed til my heart's content, and have seen friends everyday. as much as i truly do hate being in LA, not having an agenda right now is great but at the same time i am itching to get back to Boston, not because I like the city or Tufts, but because I like school and am excited for my Fall classes.
but today the reason i am posting is because, well if i wrote in an actual journal i'd include this, but i dont...so here i am on blogspot, talking about this. when my mother and aunt came to france to visit for four days...two of those days my mom wouldnt talk to me and if she did she was yelling at me or storming out of cafés and ignoring me. why ? because i told her i how unhappy i am at tufts, and how i plan on applying to Spelman and Howard for Spring '10 transfer. my mother, if you dont know her, that sucks for you...a phenomenal woman, loved by all i swear. but sometimes she has the tendency, like all humans, to step outside of her personality and say things that are rather shocking. for the first time she expressed her lack of faith in me to become something in life after going to an HBC. she asked, why would i do something like that ? what will become of me after going to a black school ? why would u do that - leave tufts to go to some black school ? they have nothing to offer me, what do the black schools have going on ?
it hurt. because ive been thru a lot in my 18years of life, with my mother and things on my own, and shes been there for me thru it ALL. and this decision is not easy for me, and not something i planned on doing when i started Tufts... but i know when the time has come for me to make a change that will only benefit me for not just my todays but my tomorrows. for once, my mother was not supportive of me. she doubted me. when she made those ignorant comments, i just stood there listening, crying as my aunt stood looking back and forth at us. i was once again, alone when i shouldnt have been. ive never been one to go out and prove someone wrong, no one has ever just outright doubted me in such a fashion because i am smart i am outgoing i am well-accomplished and the list goes on ... sure i have had jealous friends but those are easy to brush off...this is my mother. my backbone, the woman whod give it all up for me. i just wasnt expecting that reaction, and it hurt like a knife in the chest.
On top of that, Spelman College and Howard University are not just "black schools" they are not just unknown of and unheard of institutions producing nobodies. its that typical thought that "white makes us better" that has seeped into the black communities mind, and my mom's as well that had her saying such comments. but in the end, its my life, my academic life at college, not hers. and this is why i post this today :
Xavier Univeristy and Morehouse School of Medicine are Historically Black College and University members. When I read that, I knew that she was my inspiration. Not that I don't have people within my own circle and family and friends who have attended Morehouse, Howard, or Spelman, and have gone on to do AMAZING things...but this is just like POW in your face. Dr. Benjamin is a force to be reckon with, an HBCU grad doing BIG BIG things...now shes the Surgeon General...
I will be writing my letter to President Obama very soon to thank him for only inspiring me more to follow my heart and dreams. It means so much to me.
So I say, Thank you President Obama but even more, thank you Dr. Benjamin because it is not everyday that I have someone to look up to in such a fashion, thank you for your courage and generosity and for just being you - a role model for other individuals like myself to look up to you, and realize...I can do it... yes we can.
the full article is here : Alabama Physician Chosen as Surgeon General
xx gabrielle
but today the reason i am posting is because, well if i wrote in an actual journal i'd include this, but i dont...so here i am on blogspot, talking about this. when my mother and aunt came to france to visit for four days...two of those days my mom wouldnt talk to me and if she did she was yelling at me or storming out of cafés and ignoring me. why ? because i told her i how unhappy i am at tufts, and how i plan on applying to Spelman and Howard for Spring '10 transfer. my mother, if you dont know her, that sucks for you...a phenomenal woman, loved by all i swear. but sometimes she has the tendency, like all humans, to step outside of her personality and say things that are rather shocking. for the first time she expressed her lack of faith in me to become something in life after going to an HBC. she asked, why would i do something like that ? what will become of me after going to a black school ? why would u do that - leave tufts to go to some black school ? they have nothing to offer me, what do the black schools have going on ?
it hurt. because ive been thru a lot in my 18years of life, with my mother and things on my own, and shes been there for me thru it ALL. and this decision is not easy for me, and not something i planned on doing when i started Tufts... but i know when the time has come for me to make a change that will only benefit me for not just my todays but my tomorrows. for once, my mother was not supportive of me. she doubted me. when she made those ignorant comments, i just stood there listening, crying as my aunt stood looking back and forth at us. i was once again, alone when i shouldnt have been. ive never been one to go out and prove someone wrong, no one has ever just outright doubted me in such a fashion because i am smart i am outgoing i am well-accomplished and the list goes on ... sure i have had jealous friends but those are easy to brush off...this is my mother. my backbone, the woman whod give it all up for me. i just wasnt expecting that reaction, and it hurt like a knife in the chest.
On top of that, Spelman College and Howard University are not just "black schools" they are not just unknown of and unheard of institutions producing nobodies. its that typical thought that "white makes us better" that has seeped into the black communities mind, and my mom's as well that had her saying such comments. but in the end, its my life, my academic life at college, not hers. and this is why i post this today :
Dr. Regina Benjamin
is an Alabama family physician who was recently appointed the Surgeon General of the United States of American by President Barack Obama. Not only is she an African-American female, like myself, not only does she posess a beautiful spirit and incredible wisdom and intelligence, she is agraduate of Xavier University, Morehouse School of Medicine and the University of Alabama School of Medicine.Xavier Univeristy and Morehouse School of Medicine are Historically Black College and University members. When I read that, I knew that she was my inspiration. Not that I don't have people within my own circle and family and friends who have attended Morehouse, Howard, or Spelman, and have gone on to do AMAZING things...but this is just like POW in your face. Dr. Benjamin is a force to be reckon with, an HBCU grad doing BIG BIG things...now shes the Surgeon General...
I will be writing my letter to President Obama very soon to thank him for only inspiring me more to follow my heart and dreams. It means so much to me.
So I say, Thank you President Obama but even more, thank you Dr. Benjamin because it is not everyday that I have someone to look up to in such a fashion, thank you for your courage and generosity and for just being you - a role model for other individuals like myself to look up to you, and realize...I can do it... yes we can.
the full article is here : Alabama Physician Chosen as Surgeon General
xx gabrielle
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