ever think you just heard the most devastating news
i mean the most devastating news you could possibly imagine
to someone you once called a friend. not a close friend,
but more than an acquaintance. so devastating that chills
run all over your body and for once, youre at a loss for words.
you cant even begin to imagine yourselves in their shoes because
what you just heard was almost...unthinkable. so far-fetched
and unimaginable. that fifteen minute story is someones life
someones reality. what they wake up to and what they see throughout the day
so how can i ... only after hearing a snippet, an overview of the pain -- the trauma, the lows, the tears, the confusion, the misery, the rapid change,and well...the soon to be goodbye. i didnt think that id be as shaken up as i am because she and i arent that close, close enough for me to be able to hear the story but not close enough to where we kept in touch after high school and not close enough for me to reach out to her. and i think, of the two, thats what makes me feel even more. i wish i could just reach out and hug her. at the same time, i almost feel bad for being as sad and moved as i am because i dont know what an 1/8th of her pain feels like.
it makes me put everything into perspective. makes me realize how life isnt guaranteed and death has no "type" -- death doesnt give a damn rats ass if you walked the red carpet last night or if youre in line at a nearby homeless shelter. it doesnt give a f* if you have long flowing locks
like all the women on tv or if you can barely put your hair in a ponytail. it doesnt give a hoot about the physical and it honestly doesnt give a hoot about who you are as a person.it reaches
out for any and all. why ? i dont know. i wish i did. perhaps im being too cynical and a little too vulgar. but this is my blog and these are my feelings . if i wasnt so lazy, id write in my journal.
but perhaps death does care about the personality, one's character, one's individuality.
i think ill continue another day,
maybe tomorrow,
maybe not...
to be continued *
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2 comments:
reading this gave me chills.
it COMPLETELY sucks to know that death has no type. good/bad... young/old. that's why we have to live life to the fullest. not hold grudges. don't stay angry over the small things in life. etc...
i hope it's not about who i think it's about. i hope this friend of yours stays strong & makes it through the turbulence. i'm praying for her (or him).
hmm im not sure who you think it is...but im sure that you havent met this person.
and yeah life really does suck sometimes =/
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