"round midnight" --jazmine sullivan

my mom says im in it
my closest friend say im in it
i cant admit it

my mom says she knows, its so obvious -
my whole disposition changes. my face automatically lights up and my 3000 dental work is exposed, showing all pearly whites when his name is even brought up.
theres no denying that.
the "gushy mushy i cant wait to see you even if ive been on the phone with you all day, and texted you in between, pre, and during, and we just finished videochatting" kind of feeling. the last person i think about at night, the last person i talk to before i rest my head, and the first to hear my young disoriented voice in the morning.
it is you.
and only you who does this to me. is it good or bad ? for now its good, and i hope it is always just that. the future makes me nervous, me + you in the future = where will be ? will we still be we ? o i hope and i hope because the feeling i have is something that i never ever want to let go of. and one day you asked me "why would you have to let it go" and from that point and any other time, you have reassured me that we/us/you and i arent going anywhere.


maybe im in it. maybe im not.
ill wait...